Viewpoint versatility
Trying to prove a point and overexplaining oneself is a trauma response. Did you know that?
Our ego wants to be right and wants others to be on the same page as us, when wounds of rejection are embedded in our subconscious mind. Trauma in the form of abandonment issues is very common and can show up as people pleasing or co-dependency.
Our ego protects us and knows that people need people in order to survive. Our ego thinks that a difference in opinions may separate us from our group. But, dear ego, we don’t need all the people to think the way we do.
It’s the versatility among viewpoints that makes us learn from each other and expands our world views. If people decide to abandon us because they don’t share our opinion, maybe they need to work a bit on being less judgemental or maybe they weren’t our people.
The right people will let us be who we are. They will let us have our ideas and opinions regardless if they share them or not.
So the next time you find yourself getting reactional and wanting to convince someone of your point of view, have compassion for yourself and the other. We’re all just humans trying to wrap our heads around what it means to live our life.
There are things in our life that others simply can’t fathom, because those experiences are not part of their soul’s learning curve. And that’s okay, because those are not the lessons they need in their life. We all grow differently.
Don’t take it personally if someone chooses to look at the journey in another way than you do. Don’t tell them that they are wrong. Don’t believe them when they tell you that you are wrong.
Let’s all just follow our inner truths and share from the overflow of the joy that comes from being on our own true path. Not because we need to be right, but because sharing is caring. Maybe your piece of knowledge is exactly what someone else needs to hear.
Own power
I tried to fix people. I saw their problems as my own. But now I know I can’t fix others. And I’m not supposed to. People have to realise their own power and come to the understanding that they are responsible for their own life. I had to face myself, too, because as a people-pleaser you can dismiss your own problems by focusing on those of others.
I learn my lessons, you learn yours. We can learn from each other but we can’t live each other’s lives. Giving unrequested advice is often unnecessary since you cannot know what lessons others need to learn and what path in life will serve them the most. Even if it looks like they are going down the wrong road, it will probably lead them to the right place in the end.
Rock bottom often has surprisingly bright consequences. Let people make what might be perceived as mistakes, that’s how a lot of wisdom is gained. Forget the judgemental black and white thinking of right vs. wrong. The best thing you can do is hold compassion for others. Always be compassionate.
And don’t give people the power to think that they know how your life should be lived. Most people don’t even know how to live their own life in accordance with their truest potential. And it’s okay to not know. Accept that uncertainty is okay. Acceptance and surrender is key during many moments in life.
Letting go
People all around are letting go – of relationships, thought patterns and ways of living.
Things that were once dear no longer serve a purpose. Triggers offer opportunities to release trauma.
I am transforming, too. Never before have I felt the urge to throw away as much of my old self.
It’s daring to trust that something greater always flows into the openness left by goodbyes.
We feel how a new wave is coming in and we are eager to sail our lighter ships into new adventures.
Co-dependency
I have been co-dependent on people in my life and I thought I would suffocate without them. Ironically it’s often the other way around: It’s the co-dependent relationships that suffocate you.
Through loneliness I learnt that I am my own safe space. As humans we naturally crave and need connection, but this was my way of learning that I am the only person I can’t live without. It might sound harsh, but it doesn’t mean I don’t love or long to connect with the people around me, it just means I’m not dependent on them. It means I can love them just because I love them, not because I’m dependent on them loving me back. It makes the ego step aside and allows healthy, heartfelt connections to take place.
I used to be afraid of fully being myself, because what if people would leave me because they don’t like me? When there’s no longer any fear of losing people there’s no longer anything stopping you from being your authentic self. People will come and go, stay or wave goodbye.
The people who are in your life in this moment are the ones who are meant to be. They are your teachers and uplifters. But make sure to make yourself your greatest lover, because you are the one who will stay with you forever.
And on a deeper level everything is of course always connected and never lost.
